James Sapara’s Personal Blog

I often feel like my relationships move too fast. This stems from the fact that I see a relationship as something that takes time to build. Now this isn’t always bad that it’s fast, it just means that my expectation are always kinda out of kilter. I don’t always expect the same things from relationships over the same amounts of time. It’s all subjective and with the flow for the most part. I usually just always get this feeling that I’m moving things along faster than I should. Well, perhaps that’s no longer a problem…
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I often consume my idle brain cycles with random thought streams and paths. I can stare blankly for nearly any amount of time really… just thinking. Often this happens when I’m “engaged” in a conversation with someone who is talking about something I’m not interested in. Don’t be fooled thou, I’m also easily distracted at times. Often in mid conversation a thought path will be trigger and you’ll loose me. This is just one of those quirks about me. I often wander off in my head for whatever reason. Now, this has very little to do directly with what I want to write about. It’s more of a introduction to “why” I’m writing about it. Which basically means, I’m writing about it because it’s been on my mind.
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This is just an excited note about an up coming event. May 18th to 21st I’ll be in Winnipeg visiting with a very good friend of mine. She traveled all the way to Saskatoon last year to see me, so now it’s my turn to return the favor. That should be enough for people in the “know” to know what’s going down. Haha!

Many moons ago I wrote this: My Guidelines for My Future Mate At the time, and since then I’ve consciously and unconsciously “graded” the girl I meet on those guidelines. Looking back, perhaps this was a bit of a mistake on my part. I guess to my logical mind it made sense to set criteria and seek someone who fit them all. Of course, if you read those guidelines you’ll notice that I’ve set myself up for a nearly impossible find.
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I am broken. I’ve been this way for many years now. At my best guess two years and a bit. That may no seem like a long time, but to someone stuck in a self-inflicted cycle of broken… it’s a long time. It all started with a girl and an online dating site. It was… pure chance and dumb luck that brought her and myself together. To this day it amazes me how well I remember our first “contact”.

Wow – totally cool. A guy who is willing to write to me before seeing my picture!
I love the concept of geloscopy – predicting someone’s future based on their laughter. There are so many different types of laughs, the nervous laughter, the uninhibited laughter, the slightly evil laugh, the extremely evil laugh – they say so much about a person. I’ve never studied it, I don’t know where I would go. But I do pay attention to what makes people laugh and the way that they laugh, I think it says so much about a person. I’m extremely attracted to people who laugh a lot.

The entire idea of geloscopy not only amazed me, but showed me a new aspect of self and others I had never seen before. While I’m sure she didn’t invent this mysterious field of study, it was the start of my interest in a girl I would never meet.
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Right, much time has passed since my last post. Here’s a summery of the exciting stuff that’s happened since… well… since I can remember it.
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I’m often one for expressing my idea’s in such a way as to piss the most number of people off. Would it be… incorrect for me to say that chivalry is dieing or possibly dead? Yet, some things remain that could be… considered a part of chivalry. Obviously, one of these is the opening of doors. Now, I used to get kinda cranky when a lady friend would expect that sort of treatment. Now, I’ve changed my mind.

First of all, it reduces the number of decisions that have to be made. When a woman is with a man, there is no question that the man should open that door. Thus avoiding awkward moments where both try to open the door, or they both stand their with dumb looks on their faces waiting for the other to open the door. Really, this is just a subtle optimisation of how society works.

Second reason, is that if the door is booby trapped; or, the room contains some sort of… dangerous situation… Well, it’s best to send the bravest in first and let them deal with it. After all, we’re just lowly men who can’t really do anything for ourselves but eat and fart (and scratch our balls).

Now I realize there is a flaw to this system. What happens when, by chance, two men approach a door at the same time. Who should open the door? I often find that eye contact proceeds these sorts of encounters and our animal instincts kick in. We race for the door like it’s a prize to open; but, instead of opening the door and letting the other through… we quickly race through and let go of the door. Making the slower animal… er… man have to work harder to catch the door before it closes and open it again.

Now, I haven’t studied what happens when two women get to the door. Being more passive in their ways I can imagine one of two things would happen. The both strike up a conversation at the door waiting for a man to open it for them. Or, if they happen to be a a place were no man would enter/exit (lets say… a store that only sells tampons), then the following would likely happen: Lady A offers to open door. Lady B declines and offers to open door for Lady A. Lady A notices that lady B is slightly more overweight than herself, and offers again (politely) to open the door for lady B. Lady B notices that lady A is wearing high heels (and it must be killing her feet), so offers to open door for lady A. This process can probably last several hours on the worst of days.

In case you didn’t realize it, this is supposed to be funny. Don’t bother ranting at me or posting something mean in reply to it… I’ll just moderate it out (I’m the dictator of my own website, imagine that).

So I’ve been using all sorts of online dating sites for more than a year now. I’ll refrain from being bitter, but I’ve yet to find true love. I have, however, found some patterns that emerge from profiles. While my research is purely observational, and could admittiantly be biased by the searches I do… here is a list of things I’ve noticed:
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Went on a date last night. The date part itself was alright, but the environment was not what I consider conducive to dating. The venue was a paddle boat. An alternative music radio station was putting it on and playing some tunes for most of the night. Of course there was much consumption in alcohol by the guests. Ages varied from two young to drink to too old to be there. As some of you know, I’m not really into the “bar” type of hangouts. They typically frustrate me, since I have a hard time hearing and talking to people in them. That would basically describe this boat. It was loud almost everywhere except outside. Which is kinda funny, cuz outside is where all those drunk people would smoke. Anyways, it was worth enduring cause I was talking to my date majority of the time. Anything is worth enduring when you have someone to endure it with. Lol. (Except maybe Chinese finger nail tourure…) Anyways, I took two really crappy pictures with my photo. Dark and moving are two things camera phones do not deal well with. Both pictures are blurry and slightly under exposed. I guess that’s what you get for having a 4.8mm lens right?

  

I made this list years ago, I’ve quicky read it over and it seems sound. I’m sure it’s full of spelling/grammer mistakes.

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