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There you have it. A spammers newest poetic creation. I enjoy the made up words the most.
We’re at coffee tonight and we’re talking about the craziness that is patents. It occurs to us that many of the patents are just the same old technology, but on a cellphone or wireless network of some sort. This is obviously silly for many reasons, mostly that putting something on wireless these days is trivial… and that cellphones are essentially computers. So it stands to reason, if companies in the US can get away with filling this sort of patents… and defending them. Well, obviously there is money to be made by just… making patents up with various applicable technologies. So I present to you, our first prior art claim to… the motion gesture interface to cellphones.
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I found these gems on the internet today:
I’m often one for expressing my idea’s in such a way as to piss the most number of people off. Would it be… incorrect for me to say that chivalry is dieing or possibly dead? Yet, some things remain that could be… considered a part of chivalry. Obviously, one of these is the opening of doors. Now, I used to get kinda cranky when a lady friend would expect that sort of treatment. Now, I’ve changed my mind.
First of all, it reduces the number of decisions that have to be made. When a woman is with a man, there is no question that the man should open that door. Thus avoiding awkward moments where both try to open the door, or they both stand their with dumb looks on their faces waiting for the other to open the door. Really, this is just a subtle optimisation of how society works.
Second reason, is that if the door is booby trapped; or, the room contains some sort of… dangerous situation… Well, it’s best to send the bravest in first and let them deal with it. After all, we’re just lowly men who can’t really do anything for ourselves but eat and fart (and scratch our balls).
Now I realize there is a flaw to this system. What happens when, by chance, two men approach a door at the same time. Who should open the door? I often find that eye contact proceeds these sorts of encounters and our animal instincts kick in. We race for the door like it’s a prize to open; but, instead of opening the door and letting the other through… we quickly race through and let go of the door. Making the slower animal… er… man have to work harder to catch the door before it closes and open it again.
Now, I haven’t studied what happens when two women get to the door. Being more passive in their ways I can imagine one of two things would happen. The both strike up a conversation at the door waiting for a man to open it for them. Or, if they happen to be a a place were no man would enter/exit (lets say… a store that only sells tampons), then the following would likely happen: Lady A offers to open door. Lady B declines and offers to open door for Lady A. Lady A notices that lady B is slightly more overweight than herself, and offers again (politely) to open the door for lady B. Lady B notices that lady A is wearing high heels (and it must be killing her feet), so offers to open door for lady A. This process can probably last several hours on the worst of days.
In case you didn’t realize it, this is supposed to be funny. Don’t bother ranting at me or posting something mean in reply to it… I’ll just moderate it out (I’m the dictator of my own website, imagine that).
I find it somewhat amusing what a person can observe at a mall. I found myself heading to the mall in downtown Regina today for lunch. Just as I was getting on the the escalator, the gentleman in-front of me dropped a small zip-lock of white powder. I’m far from an expert in white power, but I do know they stopped prescribing drugs in white power form some time ago. I felt it was safe to assume that whatever the powder was, it was likely not illegal.
He casually picks it up, fidgets with it for a while with his hand at his side. Then, nearly drops it again while attempting to put it in his pocket. He looks around nervously and we make eye contact. At this point the thoughts in my mind are somewhat… entertaining. I was already smiling since I found the situation he found himself in somewhat amusing. He on the other hand has a look of panic. Perhaps he thought my smile was the pre-cursor to something bad I was about to do. Perhaps I was about to shout and scream. Or maybe I was an off duty cop. I figured his life was nearly too complicated as it was at the moment; so, I say, “Darn stuff sure is slippery eh?”
Well, that was pure brilliance on my part, since I’m now making friends with a guy who is clearly in possession of some sort of illegal drug. Well no matter, the look of… anxiety left his face and he turned to talk to his two other friends as if nothing had happened.
I attempted to keep an eye on the guys. Malls are a popular drop off point for drugs after all. I figured if I saw a blind drop being placed I could probably stand next to it while I call mall security to pick it up. Could of been a swap as well, but alas I didn’t’ see anything exciting happen. Just three guys hanging out and shooting the shit.
After eating my chicken wrap, I managed to spot a mall security officer hanging out not far from the location where those guys were hanging out. Unfortunately I didn’t see them anymore, but I decided to give a brief description of what I saw and what the guys looked like. Watching old people shop is probably boring to the point of loosing brain cells. So I figured it would at a small amount of excitement to her day.
So I was really tried when I got home from work today. I took a quick nap up stairs. Then went down stairs to nap some more. I woke up in a panic that I had slept to long. I looked at the clock, 7:30! OMG I slept the whole night away and it was morning already. Thanking myself that I at least woke up without setting an alarm I go up stairs and had a shower. At which point I realize I still feel like crap. As I stand there tired, sore thinking about how horrible it was to sleep the whole day away… I realize something. What if… I didn’t sleep until 7:30AM… but 7:30pm…. I jump out the shower and quickly confirm that sleep is indeed a powerful drug.
It always seems that I encounter entertaining situations on a regular basis. Some would say the frequency of these situations is rather abnormal… that I must create them or make them up. Unfortunatly for me, I don’t; but, I do like to share them with all you guys out there.
I was planning on making some pizza this past Tuesday when I discovered that I didn’t have enough flower. So I hopped in my car and drove those 2 long blocks to the Extra Foods. Right around 6 oclock the place gets rather busy, so I was suprised to find some nearly prime parking on the far side of the parking lot. Pull through to boot!
Dear Apple,
Could you please have quicktime remember the bloody volume I set it to? Nothing more entertaining that watching a set of short clips and you insist of setting the volume FULL BLAST for each one. It wakes the people in the next room, the people above me, and scares the shit out of the cats. Seriously, it’s not that hard to do the small things somethings… so whats the problem here? Need a case study? I’ll do one for free, all you have to do is ask.
Love,
James
Sometime ago I was reading a blog that asked, “Why do people bother to block out their license plate numbers when their car is in it?” He mentioned how we display it publicly on our cars and drive around all the time, so why bother blocking it when you post on the internet. Well… I think I found a reason not to.
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