In the moments
Every once and a while I sort snap into that “In the moment” sort of feeling. I’ve read a fair number of crazy people rants about how always living in the moment: great, liberating, great, fantastic, uplifting, free, great, spiritual, unleashing, great, etc… Now, when I do get these brief episodes of being in the moment, they often come when I least expect them.
Today for example, I was making some popcorn for a snack. While standing in the kitchen waiting for the popcorn to pop I suddenly get my standard “in the moment” feeling. Being so difficult to describe, I figured I’d try to write a short 1st person perspective narration of how it went:
I had just finished melting the butter in a tea cup. As I swirled the yellow mixture around I felt a sudden sense of awareness. As first it was subtle, just the sound of the spoon dragging on the smooth surface of the tea cup. Then it was the weight of the cup it self. Then, like I was dropping out of warp speed everything became very “crisp”.
The popping of the kernels pinged out like radar blips in my mind. The path of the popcorn machines agitators as it pushed un-popped kernels around. I became acutely aware of my presence and position within the room; and, even with all this sudden awareness of my surroundings, I could feel how small I was. I deliberately place the melted butter on the counter and try to stand perfectly still.
Another sudden rush of awareness flows over me. I feel as if I’m running unrestricted in a soft and warm place. Everything is natural, flowing and sequential. The only thing on my mind is this feeling, this moment, this experience right now.
So, what is this feeling really? Is it an accidental release of some chemical in my head? Not unless I have some amazing control over my own biology. See, this experience feels good; so, I often want them to happen again. I can almost compare them to waking deep meditation. I feel unrestricted and my mind is very clear. Now, I can usually bring these feelings on myself given a few conditions are met:
- I’m not immediately concerned about anything.
- It’s relatively quite. I often find some points enhances the experience, but nothing like music. Think the hum of a refrigerator.
- I’m someplace familiar. Often my bedroom, but I don’t really try this anywhere else.
I believe I developed this “skill” as an off shoot of meditating. Specifically, I would sometimes meditate while sitting in a lecture hall. Now I would never reach the same depth of meditation in that situation, but I would kinda get myself in the zone so to speak. It was something I did when whatever was going on wasn’t really relevant to me. Think of it as going to my special place.
Since then I’ve played with the idea of walking meditation and other applications of mediation. I’m not at the point where I can do anything with great consistency (not even deep meditation is consistent for me). I do find that deep meditation and this in the moment feeling I get are very similar. The greatest difference being the number of senses present.
When I do my deep meditations, I’m detached from body. I don’t feel it’s burden so to speak. Instead it’s more of an awareness of existence. It’s not cold, nor empty. It’s more like being surrounded by good company. Like being in a coccon of your own mental presence, floating in a sea of other minds.
Compare that to my in the moment, which is like an overwhelming awareness of not just people, but matter. Everything is suddenly detailed, solid and there. Things that you never really notice, suddenly register in your mind. It’s like knowing exactly where you are relative to everything, all at once. Instead of being overwhelmed with possibilities, you float in what is this precise moment in time.
